Open up any magazine or any aspirationally unrealistic lifestyle blog, and you’ll
see celebrities, It Girls, Instagram influencers, and the like raving about the
benefits of wearing nice underwear.
“You can really feel a difference,” they coo between affiliate links in their
Instagram captions. There’s no denying, this stuff looks legitimately gorgeous.
After all, it’s not like my usual Hanes has a carefully curated Instagram grid.
Guy Claims His Viral Dating Website Was a PR Stunt
Of course, I totally understand that wearing sexy lingerie with a partner could
impact your relationships, but what about when you’re single and absolutely not
tryna mingle? If a matching bra and underwear set falls to the floor of your
bedroom, but no one’s around to see it, is it still hot? Could a $98 thong
underneath my Kirkland signature pajama pants be powerful enough to boost my mood
if I’m just doing it for myself?
The rules were simple. I had to wear “nice” underwear instead of my period-stained
usual and see how my mood changed. I couldn’t tell anybody, and I especially
couldn’t sleep with anyone
Wearing nice lingerie didn’t completely cure my general anxiety and neuroses from
day-to-day life, but the reminders to enjoy the present surprisingly helped.
I started off the experiment with this purple bralette and panty, and right away, I
could feel the difference. It was super lacy, but I could run my mangled cuticles
over it without snagging – a quality test that absolutely none of my original
undies have ever passed. Plus, because the jumpsuit I chose to wear it with was cut
quite low, I really loved how the purple bra showed a little bit, like a sexy Cami
Secret, if you will!
Another fun surprise I learned early on: When your bikini briefs are ~fancy~ and
don’t come in a five-pack you picked up during a late night Walgreens’ run, it can
be shocking to discover that you can – gasp – feel sexy with your butt completely
covered!
Wearing this purple getup under my clothes distracted me from my usual slew of
toxic, anxious thoughts in the sense that it gave me something new to focus my mind
on. Instead, I had distracting, vain things to worry about.
Wearing it underneath my everyday “I’ve given up and am just here for the
attendance” outfit of stretch jeggings and a shirt really only made the power of
the secret sexy underwear stronger? I didn’t feel fancier or, like, OMG, SO HAPPY,
overall, but it was like a nice mental commercial break, where every so often, I’d
be like, “Oh, I’m wearing perfume-ad underwear. Interesting.” In the same vein that
my therapist always tells me to “practice mindfulness,” I feel like reminding
myself that I had cool underwear on was a less corny, livable version of that.
Switching it up again (Variety is the spice of life!), I went from the comfy cotton
undies to the most intimidating set of the whole experiment … this intense
strappy bra and bikini. During my initial office try-on, this bra sent a wave of
fear through my mind that presented itself as a very chill chest rash. The many,
many straps worried me that I’d never be able to get it on or off, but more
importantly, on, come the morning of the experiment.
Not tugging at my ill-fitting getup all day and being able to just enjoy the 80-
degree weather in a flouncy dress, was really nice. I guess I’d been so used to
shittily fitting things that I’d never imagined what life could be like if I didn’t
have to check the hem of my dress every three blocks.
